LET THE RIDE BEGIN... THE SIBLING
I have no idea what to say about this unique, loving, creative, fun, quiet yet loud individual. She is one of those permanent built-ins that the structure of me, would fall apart without. She has a personality like a tiger. Exotic, bold and beautiful, but capable of being a real danger. The stories will explain what I mean.
Luckily for me, she is always on my side. Most days, instead of bringing drama, she brings dinner. Then, we sit down in front of our favorite shows, laugh at the world, then recharge our life batteries so we can push through the drama at full force.
After reading her section on this page, she demanded I write more about her. So, what to say, what to say... I guess I should tell you that I fear she is going to kill our mom one day. She has extremely thin patience where drama is concerned and with our mom being drama walking around in human form, I always fear that her current day is her last. Please enjoy as the craziness unfolds between these two.
LET THE LAUGHTER BEGIN... THE FRIENDS
SMH...This amazing group of people make life all the better. I'm sure it's because they mostly deliver the good type of drama. It's entertaining, funny and usually so deliciously shocking you are left wanting more. I'm so thankful to have them contributing to the drama fun in my life.
Why is only one friend shown you ask? Oh, that's Chelsea and she is a TRUE character. She tends to have more incidents than any of the others. For example, in that photo she was passed out on a vacation from drinking too much. No one tried to wake her, we figured taking pictures would be more fun.
Either way, all of my friends drama goes well with a glass of wine on a Friday night or in the worst case, a Xanax when you need to fake a smile.
LET THE ADORABLENESS BEGIN... THE KID
Words cannot begin to express how much I love and adore this precious being. He is truly a representation of God's love. He does the simplest thing and it warms my heart. Everyday he teaches me something new, but so far, three things have stood out the most. Those things are: Life is beautiful, I am an over protective assassin where his innocence is concerned and that I don't know SHIT!
It is more often than I care to admit, that I find myself scrambling to keep up with the ever changing life of a little one. Thankfully, I have my husband to tag team this parenting thing with me, but to be honest, this kid is beating us both into submission. The other day, he even cracked his first joke on me without saying a word.
This might be TMI, but that's Drama Vomit's motto, so get use to it. Anyway, Aunt Flo showed up and I was trying to change my pad. The Kid walks in, slaps the pad out of my hand and shoves a diaper in it instead.
Well done, kid. Well done.
LET THE LESSONS BEGIN...THE RANDOMS
The Randoms are anyone or anything (outside of family and friends) that causes drama in our lives. Examples could be strangers, animals, co-workers, store clerks, bad weather, exes, etc. Say for instance your basement flooded due to a pipe bursting or you got chased by a dog. Well, that is what I call random. It's an unexpected part of life that can't be avoided or ignored.
Even though it can be chaotic, I'm thankful for The Randoms because it has taught me (and is still teaching me) a great deal about life, people, nature and myself.
LET THE PLUG IN BEGIN...THE EXTENSIONS
When I was a kid I would go to the downtown area to shop and dine with my mom. Every time we were down there I would see this disturbing homeless man that would shout at people as they walk by and talk to himself. My mom always gave him money and exchanged brief conversation with him. Once I asked her why she always talked to him and she said, "we have to look out for family, that's your cousin". My thoughts..."WTF?!"
The Extensions are any family members outside of my immediate family. You know cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc. They are a unique, but enjoyable group of people. Their actions give me a little insight as to what God may have been thinking when he created families. I think his goal was to make sure that there is a good variety of personalities ranging from bullshit to brilliant. Doing things this way helps to ensure survival. You need someone to do the dumb stuff so that the others know what not to do. It’s such a great idea and I think it works wonderfully. These people are me and I am them.
However, lately, I’m starting to wonder if the bullshitters are spreading their seeds more often than they should. They are really trying to mess up the ratio and I need them to get back on track! In the mean time, I will keep loving and learning from them, as they have so much to teach. Either way, I’m bored now, let’s go plug into some drama!
LET THE DRINKING BEGIN... THE PARENTS
You saw the pic right? Now you see what I'm dealing with. That's one of the parents. I have four since the mom and dad are remarried. So far they are shocking me at every turn and now they can do the same for you. It seems they all have some mental issue. Maybe they think they are God's gift to the world, refuse to go to the doctor when they are coughing up blood, or they can't figure out which personality they want to wear. No matter the insanity, they keep me on my toes.
When you're a kid, your parents are your heroes. They can do no wrong and everything about them is perfect. It isn't until you become an adult that their flaws become so alarmingly evident, that you wonder how you survived. At least, that was the case for me. I got to see my parents in a whole new light. Although, I love them dearly (and have the upmost respect for them) I must admit I don't always like them. To make it more clear, there would be no Drama Vomit without these lovable assholes.
Fortunately, the annoyance they cause is a two way street. Their twisted sense of humor allows them to give just as good as they get. They are my headache, heartache, (sometimes my hemorrhoids) but always my HEROES.